Coping With Holiday Party Anxiety When You Have Experienced Disordered Eating
The holiday season can be a joyful time of connection and celebration, but for those of us who have experienced disordered eating, it can also bring a unique set of challenges. Food-centric gatherings, comments about bodies, and the pressure to appear “merry” can stir up feelings of anxiety, shame, or overwhelm. If you’re feeling apprehensive about holiday parties, know that you are not alone—and that it’s possible to enjoy the season while prioritizing your mental health and well-being.
At Wild Hope Therapy, we understand the complexities of navigating the holidays when food and body image concerns are part of your story. This blog offers compassionate insights, practical tools, and encouragement to help you move through the season with confidence and self-care.
The Intersection of Holidays, Food, and Anxiety
The holidays often center around food—grand meals, cocktail hours, cookie exchanges—and this focus can feel especially daunting if you’ve struggled with disordered eating. Whether you’re in recovery or still finding your footing, the abundance of food combined with social pressures can trigger old thought patterns or anxieties.
For women, societal messages about our worth being tied to appearance or self-control can add another layer of stress. Comments like, “I shouldn’t eat that, but I will,” or, “Look at how much weight I gained over the holidays,” can feel deeply unsettling, especially when you’re working to heal your relationship with food and your body.
But here’s the truth: you are more than your body, and your worth is not determined by what’s on your plate or how you look in holiday photos.
Planning for the Holidays: What to Expect
Holiday parties often come with certain dynamics that can feel overwhelming. Being prepared can help you navigate these situations with greater ease:
1. Food-Centric Gatherings
Many holiday events revolve around food. While this can be a source of joy for some, it may feel stressful if you’re managing your relationship with eating.
2. Diet Talk and Body Comments
It’s not uncommon for people to make offhand remarks about food, diets, or body changes during holiday gatherings. These comments, even when not directed at you, can be triggering.
3. Busy Schedules
Back-to-back events, travel, and socializing can leave you feeling drained or out of routine, which may amplify stress.
4. Emotional Triggers
The holidays can bring up a mix of emotions—joy, nostalgia, grief, or even loneliness—which can sometimes complicate your feelings around food and body image.
Coping with Food-Related Anxiety at Holiday Parties
When holiday parties feel overwhelming, small steps can make a big difference. Here are some ways to navigate food-focused gatherings with care and intention:
1. Set Boundaries Around Food and Conversation
It’s okay to advocate for yourself. If someone comments on what you’re eating, try redirecting the conversation. You could say:
“I’m focusing on how I feel, not the specifics of what’s on my plate.”
“Let’s talk about something more fun—how’s your holiday season going?”
If you feel pressured to eat or not eat certain foods, remember that you have the right to make choices that feel best for you, no explanations needed.
2. Bring Food You Feel Comfortable With
If the idea of eating unfamiliar food at a party feels daunting, consider bringing a dish or snack that you know you’ll enjoy. This can help you feel more grounded and ensure there’s something on the table that aligns with your needs.
3. Avoid “Food Rules” Conversations
When conversations turn to dieting or guilt about food, it’s okay to step away. Take a moment to breathe, engage in another conversation, or excuse yourself for a quick break. Protecting your mental space is a form of self-care.
Managing Social Anxiety and Overwhelm
Holiday parties aren’t just about food—they’re also social events, which can feel draining or anxiety-inducing. Here’s how to navigate the social aspects with ease:
1. Plan Your Arrival and Exit
Give yourself permission to set time limits for events. If a party feels overwhelming, let yourself leave early or plan an escape route in advance. You don’t need to stay longer than feels comfortable.
2. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
Shift your focus from trying to “perform” or fit a specific holiday ideal to simply connecting with others. Find someone you enjoy talking to and engage in meaningful conversation—it’s okay if you’re not mingling with everyone in the room.
3. Bring a Grounding Object
Having something small to anchor you—like a bracelet, a meaningful trinket, or even a favorite lipstick—can remind you of your strength and resilience if anxiety starts to creep in.
Staying True to Your Values
For many women, the holidays come with expectations—what you should wear, how you should look, how much you should eat or drink. But your values, not societal pressures, should guide how you approach the season.
1. Reflect on What Matters Most to You
Ask yourself: What do I truly want from this holiday season? Maybe it’s creating joyful memories with loved ones, prioritizing rest, or focusing on gratitude. Write these intentions down and refer back to them when stress arises.
2. Define Your Own Traditions
Who says holiday traditions have to revolve around food or extravagant parties? Consider creating rituals that feel meaningful to you, like taking a winter walk, writing gratitude notes, or having a movie night with close friends.
3. Celebrate Your Progress
If you’ve worked to heal your relationship with food and your body, take time to honor that progress. The holidays can be a good opportunity to reflect on how far you’ve come and celebrate the ways you’re growing.
Building a Support System
Navigating the holidays is easier with people in your corner. Here’s how to build and lean on your support system:
1. Identify a “Go-To” Person
Having a trusted friend or family member who understands your journey can be invaluable. Let them know how they can support you—whether that’s redirecting conversations, standing by your side during meals, or checking in after events.
2. Communicate Your Needs
Don’t be afraid to set expectations with those closest to you. For example: “It would mean a lot if we could focus on enjoying the time together and avoid diet talk.”
3. Seek Professional Support
If the holidays feel particularly challenging, consider reaching out to a therapist. At Wild Hope Therapy, we specialize in helping women navigate the complexities of disordered eating, body image, and anxiety. You don’t have to face this season alone.
Tools for Managing Holiday Stress
When holiday anxiety feels overwhelming, grounding yourself can help. Here are a few tools to keep in mind:
1. Practice Mindful Breathing
Take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. Try inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. This simple exercise can calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.
2. Keep a Journal Handy
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process emotions and identify triggers. You can also use your journal to set intentions for events or reflect on moments of gratitude.
3. Create a “Safe Space” Ritual
If a party feels overwhelming, step outside or find a quiet corner to ground yourself. Engage in a quick ritual—like listening to a favorite song or focusing on your grounding object—to recenter.
Redefine What the Holidays Mean to You
The holidays can be complex, especially if you’re managing disordered eating or anxiety, but they don’t have to feel impossible. By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and staying true to your values, you can move through the season with greater ease and intention.
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health, to say no to situations that feel overwhelming, and to redefine what the holidays mean to you. Whether that means creating new traditions, leaning on your support system, or simply taking each day as it comes, you are deserving of a season that feels joyful and aligned with who you are.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. If you need support, Wild Hope Therapy is here to help. Together, we can work toward a holiday season that feels less about stress and more about connection, compassion, and care—for yourself and others.