Setting Intentions for the New Year: A Different Approach to Self-Love and Growth
Ah, mid- January. The time when those well-meaning New Year’s resolutions we made at midnight might already feel a bit… forgotten. But before you start guilt-scrolling through productivity hacks on social media, let’s talk about something better than resolutions: intentions.
Resolutions often feel rigid, like ultimatums we give ourselves: “Never scroll social media again.” “Read 50 books this year.” “Only eat kale for breakfast forever.” They’re all about a fixed goal and, more often than not, a secret sense of inadequacy. But what if you approached the new year with the warmth of self-love instead of the sting of self-criticism? That’s where setting intentions comes in.
Resolutions vs. Intentions: What’s the Difference?
A resolution is like setting a finish line. It says, “I’ll be enough when I get here.” An intention, on the other hand, is about the journey. It’s less about achieving something specific and more about how you want to feel, grow, or show up for yourself.
For example:
Resolution: “I’ll meditate for 30 minutes every day.”
Intention: “I’ll make space to connect with myself, whether that’s through meditation, journaling, or just a few deep breaths.”
See the difference? One feels rigid and perfectionistic; the other feels flexible and human. Resolutions can be brittle, prone to snapping under the weight of life’s unpredictability. Intentions, however, are like seaweed—they bend and adapt, staying rooted even when waves crash over them.
Why Intentions Are Rooted in Self-Love and Radical Acceptance
Setting intentions is a powerful act of self-love. It says, “I’m worthy right now, exactly as I am, and I’m choosing to nurture myself from this place.” This mindset is grounded in radical acceptance, a concept often used in dialectical behavior therapy. Radical acceptance means embracing reality as it is, rather than fighting against it—including our messy, imperfect selves.
When you set intentions from a place of self-love, you’re acknowledging your humanity. Instead of punishing yourself for not being “better” or “more” of something, you’re saying, “What do I need to feel more whole?”
Here’s a few examples of intentions that might resonate:
“I want to prioritize rest and recovery.” This could mean allowing yourself guilt-free naps, saying no to overcommitting, or even just giving yourself permission to pause.
“I want to cultivate more joy in small moments.” Maybe that’s dancing in your kitchen, savoring your coffee, or watching your favorite sitcom for the hundredth time.
“I want to practice being kinder to myself.” That might look like reframing negative self-talk, celebrating small wins, or simply saying, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
The Problem with Toxic Positivity
Here’s the thing: Intentions can only thrive in an environment of honesty. Toxic positivity—the insistence on staying cheerful and optimistic no matter what—can actually make it harder to reach meaningful goals. Why? Because it denies the reality of our struggles, making us feel like failures for experiencing perfectly normal human emotions like sadness, anger, or fatigue.
For example, if your intention is to bring more joy into your life, you’re not going to feel joyful every single day—and that’s okay. Embracing your full emotional range, including the hard days, is a form of self-compassion. It’s what makes the good moments even sweeter.
Choosing a Word, Color, or Symbol for the Year
A fun and creative way to set your intention is to choose a word, color, or symbol to guide your year. Think of it as a touchstone—something you can return to when life gets busy or overwhelming.
Word: Choose a word that reflects how you want to feel or show up in 2025. Words like “grounded,” “embrace,” or “growth” can be powerful.
Color: Maybe you pick a calming blue to remind yourself to stay steady, or a vibrant orange to spark energy and creativity.
Symbol: A sunrise for new beginnings, a tree for grounded growth, or even something playful like a pineapple to remind yourself to savor sweetness.
Flexibility, Creativity, and Self-Compassion
One of the best things about intentions is their adaptability. They’re not a contract you’re bound to; they’re a compass you can recalibrate. If your intention no longer feels right by June, change it. Life shifts, and so can you.
Here’s the secret sauce to making intentions work:
Flexibility: Let your intention evolve. Maybe “finding joy” means one thing in January and something completely different by August.
Creativity: Experiment with how you live out your intention. If rest is your focus, try different forms of rest—a bath, a walk, or simply scrolling TikTok guilt-free.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself the way you’d treat a dear friend. If you stumble, offer grace instead of judgment.
Rest, Recovery, and Leisure: The Secret Ingredients
Here’s a radical idea: Rest isn’t just a break from your goals—it’s essential to achieving them. Burnout doesn’t build character; it just makes you tired. Recovery and leisure are just as important as hard work because they recharge you and keep you aligned with your intentions.
If your 2025 intention is to be more creative, you’re not going to write your magnum opus if you’re running on fumes. If your intention is to be more present, you won’t enjoy the moment if you’re always exhausted. Give yourself permission to rest, and watch how it transforms everything else.
Finding Joy Where You Can
Let’s end on this: If the only intention you set for this year is to find joy where you can, that’s more than enough. Maybe you don’t have the bandwidth for big goals, and that’s okay. Joy is radical in its simplicity. It’s noticing the sunlight streaming through your window, laughing at a meme, or feeling the warmth of your favorite sweater.
So as you navigate 2025, remember: Intentions aren’t about fixing yourself. They’re about loving yourself enough to grow in the ways that matter to you. And if your intention changes, if you have a tough day or week or month, if you drop the ball completely and come back to it in September, that’s perfectly okay. Life is messy and beautiful and worth showing up for—just as you are.
Here’s to a year of intentions rooted in self-love, curiosity, and a whole lot of grace.